This week I threw caution to the wind and let myself go.
I felt free, limitless, unchained and alive.
I averaged on about three mini snickers bars a day.
I breathed out and let my stomach just hang.
I challenged myself to think on my feet, I forced myself to decide within three minutes, what to wear to work each morning.
I let nature take over in the hair (facial and on head) and nail department.
I worked back - very late, concentrating on work, rather then wondering how the girls and Mr Lucky were coping without me. There was no guilt.
I let the house rest, there were no daily after work whirlwind, guerrilla style tidy up drills.
While on my lunch break, rushing to get another snickers bar, I spotted my reflection in a shop window.
This unkept, tummy hanging over belt, jeans too long for chosen shoes, helmet haired, dangerously close to having a mono brow person had gone too far.
I forgot the snickers, returned to the office with my tummy sucked in. I tied my helmet hair back after slapping on a serious amount of hair wax (I always keep a stash at work for my 'hair out of control' days). Folded up my jeans, and stapled them so they were the appropriate length for my shoes, ensuring they no longer swept the streets clean with each step. I created a 'to wear' and a 'to do' list for the rest of the week.
The internal emergency siren stopped wailing. Order almost returned, I still need to make an appointment to lose the mono brow, starve myself for about two years to shed the snickers related ten kilo love handles and work on bringing on a guilt attack for focusing on work and not the family.
I am almost there.
Feeling empowered, dis-empowered or powered down? I am not quite sure.